Break The Ice

Attention, ladies I used to nail: I got a new girl now, so quit calling me.

No, no, but seriously, I have a new girlfriend and she's a peach.

As you will notice, it's been a very long time since I wrote a blog update. Since that time I've been in shows, had my lease canceled, lost one roommate and gained another in the move, worked various little jobs and been looking for others. The other day, the lady and I were brought in on a Microsoft commercial; I slapped a strawberry milkshake out of her hands. It exploded! Then she tried to slap a bowling ball out of my hand, but instead she hurt herself. There were people whose job it was to come up and make sure out clothes were nice. Acting on camera is weird.

I just want this update - which I'm writing offstage during a five-hour Saturday rehearsal for "Durango" by the Silk Road Theatre Project - to just get the ball rolling. If I don't write the first update in months, I can't write any other new ones. So dang much has happened, it's hard to know where to begin, so I shan't decide now. This blog is a fair representation in miniature of my general big problem with the artist-whatever lifestyle. The other day I spent about four hours collecting names of agencies, writing cover letters, and mailing out invitations to my show. It was a necessary next step, and it was easy, but I'd been planning to do it for weeks. Once it was begun, suddenly I was capable of working for hours, all self-directed and shit, full of what is called "passion" - as distinguished from those other essential intangibles, "Talent" and "connections" - but the first step! My God. Auditioning - going to auditions - preparing for auditions - none of them pose as great a challenge to me as looking up the audition in the first place.

So. This first blog back is about how I can't do things like write this blog. My life these days dedicated to summoning up the phlegm to spit in the eye of my own laziness; this missive is another drop.

Next time I'll write about my new place, and about how my former landlords' behavior has caused an accepted renaissance of the humor of homophobia in my friend group.