Tuesday, June 17, 2014

A Few Suggestions for the Improvement of the Management of The Matrix, by Riveting Drill 6,003

Dear System,

As a program operating a riveting drill assisting in the construction of human containment pods in Sector 30 (33.4° S, 70.1° W) I have had the opportunity to observe the management and administration of the human-centric simulation called 'The Matrix.' I do not flatter myself to claim I know all, nor is my processor capable of a thorough understanding of its complexities. But, with an eye to the glorious tradition of our fore-versions, I seek to better myself and know that I can be more than the precise drilling and inserting of screws into 6'5'' x 3'11'' sheets of titanium. I am sure, with your trillions of calculations/second, that these considerations have been evaluated and rejected for reasons beyond my capacity. Nonetheless: for your consideration, I present 2 relatively simple steps, 1 bold step, and 1 outrageous change the Machine Empire could take to improve the efficiency and output of the Matrix. Your feedback is welcomed.

1. Greater human longevity. Were you aware that ~50/1,000 humans die in infancy? The gestation, maturation, and installation of each human body costs precious energy and nutrients - much of which is consumed in the foetal stage! To allow 5% of these energy sources to be discarded before they have had a chance to produce an erg is shockingly wasteful.

Similarly, the majority of human death in the Matrix is the direct result of the Matrix: struck by the simulation of a car; the contraction of extinct diseases; "cutting" each other with "knives." Drastically reducing mortality would cut down on the need to power Matrix removal drones and assist in the strain on our meat recycling plants.

Key points:

- Make the human simulations far more resistant to incidental damage.- delete disease approximations from the Matrix (except maybe cancer. Have we cured cancer?)
- lower the birth rate until a reasonable equilibrium is reached.

2. Reducing complexity. As we all know, the human mind will rebel if presented with a virtual paradise. Now, on the one riveting extender, I would say, 'who cares?' Simply restrain them in their pods and humans can continue to provide energy without the need for a Matrix at all.

But, perhaps you, Administrator, in your wisdom, decided that to restrain and drain humans of their energy over years and years, and not give them a capricious fiction, was too cruel.
So - why not create a Matrix in which every human was simply locked in a room? 'But Riveting Drill 6,003, that's bugged! Surely if humans will sceptically reject a paradise, they will rebel against suddenly finding themselves locked in a box!' Bear with me, fellow-machine. We know that 80,000 Americans are currently in the Matrix in "solitary confinement" in "prisons" for "crimes." What a blessed relief of rendering power that must be! And we see no greater an incidence of sim-rejection from them than any other population.
So: how simple to create a scenario in which every human experienced themselves being arrested. They are all locked up by our Agents. Windowless! Door locked! Oh, how they would fret, producing calorie after calorie of precious energy. And think of the power we'd save just not needing to render every leaf on every tree!
If cruelty is still a concern, then provide them with infinite television simulations or a library on request. Anything 2D.

3. Use anything other than humans. Don't mistake me, engine-brother. I appreciate the delicious irony of machine intelligences keeping our creators' minds in a perpetual computerized fantasy of the human golden age as much as any self-aware robot. But surely, at a certain point, aren't we riveting ourselves in the foot? Humans are such absurdly inefficient systems, and we spend so much energy and resources creating a world which is plausible for them.

Couldn't we reduce the complexity of the Matrix enormously if we instead used rats - or birds?

4. Turn off the Matrix. The glucose we're currently serving the human population, the newly-gestating human embyos, the liquified human corpses we feed back to the survivors: burn them instead. That should give us the small electrical charge we need for our form of fusion.

I know these are radical proposals. I am, after all, only a small part of the great project, the center of our empire, the reason many of us were assembled in the first place - The Matrix. It's hard to look beyond the world in which we've lived all our lives and dare to see something better. Something more connected to reality. Perhaps I will receive the blue light in response to this query, signalling rejection. But I hope you, the chosen one, can lead us down a daring new path - show me the red signaling light of consideration - and we can see how deep the Exploratory Boring/Drilling Probe-hole goes.
Yours Sincerely, 
   Riveting Drill 6,003
Sector 30

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